The Use-to-bes

The older I get the more I really miss the "used to bes" of my life.  I guess I probably miss the "used to not bes" as well.  For instance, I used to not have to worry about my dad all the time and my life used to make sense.  From the time I can remember I have been a Daddy's girl through and through.  I have never waivered in that for one minute.  Growing up it seemed that my daddy really understood me and got me, where as my mom and I were constantly butting heads and fighting and there was always so much turmoil between us.  My dad was kind of my safe place.  A couple of years ago he had an issue with his appendix and he got really sick and I can remember thinking "what has happened to my Superman?"  Then my mom died and all of sudden we were all faced with our own mortality and the realization came to me that at some point my father will die.  Now we are dealing with some other issues with my dad and I find myself quite often wishing that I was back in my parents house and that they were both there and sometimes I don't really care if they were fighting just as long as they were there. I "used to be" my daddy's little girl and I "used to not" be so worried all the time.  I love getting older and watching my children grow up and my prayer is that I have another 50-60 years to do just that, but with that being said, in order for me to get older, my father has to get older and I don't know if I am ready to lose him.  One thing I have learned in dealing with all this stuff with my dad is that I am not nearly as strong as I thought I was and that I am entirely too emotional.  To whoever is reading this please say a quick prayer for us.  Thank you and God bless! 

I am so discouraged!

I am so discouraged right now.  I have all these plans and ideas and I am never quite sure how to make them happen.  I had such wonderful ideas for last night, I mean I was going to make it special.  Well, I don't think one thing I wanted to happen happend.  I didn't do anything special for Tim, which we hardly ever do,but which I would love to do, but one thing leads to another and nothing gets done.  I had this great idea to take flowers and balloons to the kids at school, but apparently its in the HANDBOOK that  you can't do that.  Who reads the handbook anyway, not me~! So that made me mad and then I wanted to make these certain kind of cookies and I screwed those up and then as much as I really don't care I was alittle sad when Tim didn't even have a card for me.  So to fix all of this, I just laid on the couch and had a good cry.  I don't know if I will ever figure out all this stuff but atleast I have kids who love me and a husband who loves me, even if he can't buy a dang card! Oh well, today is a new day, a beautiful day filled with new and beautiful possibilities, so my plan is to make the most of today and keeping on keeping on!  Thanks for listening and being such good friends!

Having car trouble, but atleast my tub is clean!

So this weekend has just been one of those weeekends I would really like to forget.  I certainly would not win Mother of the Year by any stretch of the imagination.  To begin with my car is not right.  And the dealership said that if it is what they think it is, it is very expensive.  However, they wont know until they can run my car for 2 more hours and charge me another 170.00!  To which my husband said, "Nah, I think I will take a stab at it!"  So then my dad lets me drive his little Honda Civic, now please keep in mind that I am used to an SUV, well while the car is in my possession, I run the top over a concrete thingy and practically pull the bumper off.  Fortuately a friend was able to pop that sucker right back on.  Anyway, during all this my kids are driving me bananas and I would really like to just drop them off somewhere and go away for awhile.  Despite the craziness of the weekend, I was able to fulfill my mission for the day and that was to clean the walls of the bathroom.  Well I got a little ambitious and did the door and the tub.  Let me tell you I don't think that tub has ever sparkled so pretty.  So my motto of the day is, I may be having car trouble, but atleast my tub is clean.  God bless you all!

Day by day!

I haven't blogged much  this week so I guess I got some catching up to do.  Like I mentioned before, all this month we will be celebrating the "Month of Love".  Every morning the kids wake up to find a little note and a piece of candy in their valentine bag.  I also have picked up a few other things other than just candy to give them.  For instance, today the kids woke up to find a note and a valentine wall hanging that they can put in their rooms.  I have also decided to have the kids memorize parts of I Cor 13. 
As far as my cleaning goes, this week I am still working on the kids rooms.  I haven't spent much time on Makennas room this week, cause hers doesn't need as much organizing as Sean's does, she just needs to pick up better. 
Tonight instead of family night at home we are all going to Sean's play at his school.  Maybe afterwards we can go to Dairy Queen or something.  Tomorrow night is a very special nite for Makenna.  Her and Tim are going to the Princess Ball at her school.  She is going to be wearing a beautiful white gown and I bought some fake white roses to put in her hair.  Hopefully it will all work out. 
Take care and have a blessed day everyone!